I apologize in advance for this lenghty rant but I really felt it was necessary and I would really appreciate your comments on this one. Thanks. If I'm wrong, please let me know!
So I got an email today and to be honest, it really just pissed me off...I know of no other way to put it. It just pissed me off!! The sender did not want to be identified and sent this message to my personal inbox(which I don't have a problem with)..I will respect that individual's wishes and not identify him/her. I did let that person know that I would be writing about this in my blog, and I did make my feelings of "pissiness" (is that a word?) clear in my response. I asked the individual if they'd object to me posting their email anonymously so that all could see - he/she (lets name this person "Sunny") did not want that. I don't mind if people don't agree with what I'm doing/saying/writing and want to voice that - I'm fine with it. I do moderate all comments, however so far I've allowed 100% of the comments posted to this blog. The only time I won't allow it is if it's degrading, derrogatory or malicious and would offend others. I will also respond to it directly, especially if it's warranted as I did in this case.
Anyway, "Sunny" started off by complimenting me on my efforts in embarking on this journey and then went into the longest "HOWEVER" I think I've ever seen. I won't copy and paste the entire message, but will summarize one of Sunny's key points from that message - this is the one that really pissed me off. Okay, I said I wouldn't copy and paste the entire message but the quote below is a direct quote which I copied and pasted...I was attempting to summarize it but felt I would change the meaning if it wasn't left exactly as said...Sunny is not identified so I don't see the big deal. Message to Sunny : if you have a problem with this, please feel free to email me - we can discuss further.
Quote taken from email message:
"I think you're wrong to associate weight with health. Being fat doesn't mean that you are not healthy and I just don't think you should be promoting publically that you are attempting to conform to someone else's beauty standard despite being healthy. You wanting to lose 101 pounds seems a bit out there and I think it sends the wrong message"
My Disclaimer: I've already admitted that this message pissed me off ( a lot!) and this response will be very honest and straight to the point - I always speak my mind, and it will be no different here!!
I must admit, I did not know where exactly to start in responding to this - I just had so many things to say; some harsh and some not. But here goes:
I want to assure you that I have never conformed to someone else's beauty standard and take great offense at the thought of anyone thinking that this was my reason for embarking on this journey. Frankly, if you read my blog or knew me, you would see how ridiculous a statement that was!! I've said it before (a few times in the blog actually) and I'll say it again. I have never ever looked at myself negatively. I am one of the most positive and confident people you could ever come across - I owe that to my mom who pretty well told me every day how beautiful I was...and I AM beautiful, matter of fact, I'm fine as hell!!! My reasons for doing this are so far from esthetic, you may not believe it. MY REASONS!! MY REASONS!! No one else's. If someone looks in the mirror and decides they want to embark on a similar journey because they want to LOOK better or they don't like the way THEY currently LOOK and want to improve on that, and most importantly are taking healthy steps (doing it the right way) to achieve those goals, then who are you or anyone for that matter to look down or speak negatively to that individual??? What's wrong with trying to improve yourself for YOURSELF?? Nothing!! Not a damn thing. What's wrong with trying to improve your health?
Also, I do want to improve how I look. I no longer want to see rolls of fat when I wear my clothes!!! I no longer want to wear spanx and gurdles to have the appearance of a flat stomach!! I want to cross my legs when I sit and be comfortable instead of having to sit to one side to do it!! I no longer want to feel "things" shaking AFTER I've stopped laughing!! That's my damn business!! :)
Don't get me wrong, I am quite aware of what's going on in this world with serious circumstances and situations having to do with anorexia and or bulimia and other eating and image disorders and the significant impact it's having on numerous women (young and old). Rest assured, this is not the case here and no where in my blog am I "publically promoting" this. Get your facts straight before you start with your nonsense!
This is MY PERSONAL JOURNEY TO LOSE WEIGHT AND GET HEALTHY!!! I didn't associate weight with health. I associated MY WEIGHT with MY HEALTH. You went on to say that there are lots of fat people out there who are healthy and that I was wrong to associate health and weight. I say good for them...my issue is that THIS FAT PERSON WAS NOT HEALTHY!!! I can only speak for myself. I cannot be healthy and fat, for me that's bullcrap (I wanted to use a different word here, but that one will have to do). At my fattest, why the hell could I barely walk up my stairs at home without feeling like I was dying for air??? I doubt it's because I was so healthy! Why could I only play with my son in the park for a few short minutes before needing to rest/catch my breath????? Because I was fat and healthy?? Give me a break! I have health issues that are directly related to my weight and since losing just 25 pounds, my doctor and I have started noticing huge improvements with some of those health issues.
I've already personally had my battle with cancer!! My mother died of cancer at the age of 37!!! She was overweight. I'm not saying she got cancer because she was overweight, but what I am saying is that I am directly at risk, it's in my gene pool. Why would I not do any and everything I could to ensure that I was as healthy as possible? Wouldn't I be in a better situation to FIGHT and kick the crap out of cancer if I was as healthy as possible if it decides to come back my way??!! I currently have fibroids which are related to being overweight and thankfully are non-cancerous. Those growths have started to reduce in size since I started losing weight!! You need to just back your shit up....cause where my story is concerned, you don't have a clue!
I think what I am "publicly promoting" is how a regular person with all of life's ups and downs and ins and outs can achieve a weightloss goal by using proper exercise and healthy meal plans and maintain a healthy lifestyle. THAT's ALL I'M PROMOTING!!! So if you see something else, I just don't know where you're getting it! How is me attempting to show people how to get healthy following the right tools sending the wrong message??? What would you say if I was telling people to starve themselves and don't exercise, take pills etc to lose weight? Get real!!
This is one of things that bugs me about people. I understand that everyone has their opinions and that's fine, but don't start making ridiculous statements without having the facts or knowing the full story!!
Anyway, I had to get that off my chest (and there was more, but I responded to Sunny directly). I am on my lifelong journey and more motivated and determined than ever to reach my goals which includes LOSING WEIGHT, GETTING HEALTHY, MAINTAINING THAT HEALTHY LIFESTYLE and FINDING THAT ALL IMPORTANT MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL BALANCE!!
Sorry for the rant today guys. As always, thanks for your support. I'll look forward to your comments!
Until next time...
Joania (2KMINE!!)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
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28 comments:
AMEN! I agree that while everyone has their right to their opinion, they need to have some facts to back it up. Far too often I see people spouting off on something and they lack factual support.
While I didn't have the same weight goal as you, a year and a half ago I started my own weight loss journey. Like you, I was doing it for myself and not because of someone else's ideal of what is healthy. I wasn't happy with who I was and that I had allowed myself to get badly out of shape. 40-odd pounds shed later, I am much happier and healthier, and intend to stay that way.
Oh Nia dont let the ignorance run up your blood pressure. On every journey we take in life someone will always be there with negativity in an attempt to hold you back or make you look bad-you know misery loves company. Keep up the hardwork hun-you just do you.
Sounds like Sunny has some problems of her own and that is YOUR journey, not hers. how dare she tell you how to embark on it. There are millions of people who have lost 100+ pounds the healthy way. I fail to understand Sunnys negativity. Sunny if you are reading this comment, I think an apology is needed. God Bless you
Wow. I think every blog I visit has had 'someone' who has commented negatively to them and I just have to say- if you don't like it, don't read the blog! As most of us learned from our parents, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all.
I think you are doing a fabulous job Joania and I hope you don't let comments like that get to you. I'm surprised by the ignorance of the comment really- of course health and weight go hand in hand. Ask any doctor. I'm not saying you have to be a stick, but certainly there is research that shows weight has a huge impact on a person's health. Being overweight and especially obese puts a person at risk for many diseases and conditions. An overweight and certainly obese person may not necessarily be 'sick' but is certainly not in good physical shape. Everyone's ideal weight is different and as long as your path to get there includes healthy food and exercise you are doing everything right.
Tell Sunny get his lazy ass off the couch, get his facts straight and let go of his jealous and the extra weight which i think he is carrying around his brain!!!
Is sunny leaving under a rock?Sunny if you are reading this please go to google and spend some time there researching some of the diseases associated with being overweight, eg, high blood , diabetes, heart attack and then come back and post something positive.
Way to go Joania!!! I hope Sunny is reading these comments. There is no way in hell an obese person is healthy! That's the biggest load I've EVER heard! I know a person who told me to my face that it was "easier" for me to "pop out" a kid because I was skinny! Well I am not now nor was I then "skinny"! However, compared to this person I suppose I was thin. More important she was 7 months pregnant before the Dr. found the baby's heart beat!!! She said she wasn't worried because half the time Dr's can't even hear hers! Now is that healthy? I think NOT!
I have been on my own journey as well, I lost 100lbs 8 years ago and due to some personal health issues as you know, I gained some (but nowhere near all) of it back. I am much healthier slimmer. I feel more energetic and have other funky side effects like normal blood pressure and very low cholesterol. Not only that, my immune system with healthy living is far better.
Joania, take heart that that was only 1 comment. I hope that person figures out why they wrote that to you.
Your blog is very inspirational to me Joania and to many others.
Hugs,
Alison
You got that off your chest - now keep on moving forward!
Honestly, "Sunny's" comments are ridiculous. Your heart and your head are all in the right place.
You have WAY more supporters than "sunny's"!
Keep your chin up! You're doing great!
Holly xo
I am mortified. I agree with the many people who commented that this is unnecessary negativity. Most of it probably stems from ignorance on Sunny's part, but I don't feel any more forgiving because of that fact. The absolute last thing you need on this journey is anything resembling toxic energy. I am also as mystified as hell as to why Sunny feels the way he or she does, with the many sources of education available regarding health and weight. Blows my mind. Most importantly, this is YOUR journey and YOUR body, and you know better than anyone what you need. Keep it up, you are amazing - know that you have tons of support out here!
Natasha in TO
I'm sorry that someone pissed in your cornflakes yesterday. They have their opinion and well medically speaking I think they are wrong. Yes there are alot of healthy overweight people out there who are very healthy, I am one, but and this is the big one. Their chances of getting sick and becomming unhealthy compaired to a normal weight person is greater. Not to mention the extra weight on the joints, the heart the liver the lungs kidneys. Yes they may be healthy now but it is fact that overweight people's life expectency (sorry for any spelling mistakes)is less then a normal weighted person. I admire you for being so self confident! I think Sonny should take a good hard look at themselves and be honest. Keep up the great work Joania. I love reading your blog!! You are a great insperation!!!! Thank you for being so honest!!!
Joania
There will be people along the way who will see negative in everything people do. It's their own insecurities and lack of will power to do anything on their own.
He/she most assured has low self esteem and a poor out look on life and most of all lack of knowledge.
I applaud you for doing this for you! Keep going girl!
Kimmie B.
You Rock!!!
Kristine
Hydro Ottawa
That "SUNNY" has got you SOOOO wrong. I can personally say that you ARE one of the most confident and beautiful women that I know. I have known you for 20 years and you have NEVER been down on yourself about your weight because you thought that you weren't beautiful. This person obviously does not know you and therefore has no right to pass judgement on you or say what they think your "problem" is. I know that you are doing it to be healthy and your mom's illness has everything to do with it and it's not because you want to be some skinny scrawny toothpick to look better.
My friend Joania is beautiful inside and out and that is the definition of true beauty.
Sunny can put that in his/her wheaties and chew it!
Love ya my GORGEOUS friend!
Stace..xo
I read your blog and I don't blame you for being angry, however, some people just like to get others worked up. I think it would be safe to assume that the writer of the email is AFRAID. Afraid of many things. is it safe to assume that the writer has an issue with weight as well? Regardless, it is medically proven that obese people are at higher risk for many illnesses (which include heart attacks, diabetes and so many more other things). Everyone KNOWS that. Anyone who wished to argue that fact, should read more often. Obesity is the direct result of a firn of an eating disorder (of course there are always causes such as genetics, thyroid, effects of drugs, etc. Both obesity and Anorexia have other serious effects other than just medical health. Are we forgetting Mental health. The years of whispering comments as you walk by, the years of looking in the mirror and hating what you see. These disorders are highly destructive and some people suffer greatly because of them. I have a friend who suffers greatly from anorexia. Fortunately, she has been treated and has a huge surrounding of supportive friends and family to keep her on the right track. Like obesity, it is a daily struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She hates the way she looks in the mirror...always and no matter how many times we tell her, truly and sincerely, that she is beautiful, it does not change the way she perceives herself. So much goes on inside our bodies without us knowing about it. Our bodies should be respected and the only person who can do that is US. There comes a time when most people suffering from an eating disorder of any kind, wake up and make the choice to live a happier and healthier life and stay alive. No matter how hard we try to deny it, it is FACT that the BMI was created for a reason. Because our bodies are not made to handle the abuse. I could keep going on because I think Sunny needs to wake up and see your journey for what it is. YOUR JOURNEY!!!!!!
Joania, you ARE doing the right thing and you are so right. You will be a healthier you for it, despite what the cowardly individual has written to you says. Anyone who thinks for a second that they are obese and healthy or anorexic and healthy need a rude awakening. The medical facts are out there. How many people have died because they didn't make a conscious effort to improve their lifestyles. Frankly, I wish "Sunny" would wake up too. Just like you did. Wake up and begin living life and stop ignoring the fact that they too, could live a happier and healthier life. No matter what. Sunny is an angry individual in denial. That's what I believe.
Now, Joania, get off this damned computer and go have a beautiful day. Enjoy every step of your journey. Like you said, this is your life and you are making the best decisions for you.
Rosie did it, Rosie admitted to her problems and even let the world know exactly how she felt every step of the way. She is finally free of the prison she chose to live in. That doesn't mean she didn't love who she was as a person, it simply means that she has rid herself of something we all know was supressing an even better, stronger Rosie.
Keep up the great work!
Dawn
My favourite quotes:
"I'm fine as hell!"
"You need to just back your shit up...."
HAHHAHAHHAHH....U R DA WOMAN!!!!
AMEN!!!! Thank you for putting him/her in their place. They obviously do not know what they are talking about and obviously did not read your page properly. On the right-hand side in your "top 5 reasons to lose 101 pounds", it does NOT say to look good, to look prettier, to look anything....it says to be able to play with your son as much as he wants etc. So he/she needs to get their facts right and learn how to read because if they had read your blog entirely, they wouldn't be chattin' bullcrock!
My hat is off to you, NOW do the dang thing mama and show this #$%@ how it's done!
Jenelle
Joania, please don't listen to this person. People know how hard it is to lose weight and they are not willing to do it. I am convinced that this character is hiding behind the Internet and stuck in their home with a computer. I bet he or she is even fat and can't "face the music"
I think when you lose your 101 lbs, you will inspire him or her to get better. Don't give up, there is negativity eveywhere you go and with everything you do. You alone knows what's good for you. Please don't care about him or her. Keep the hard work up...we are here with you.
WOW! This Sunny character needs to get their head examined! Joania...I just want you to know what an awesome job you are doing. You're a rock! I admire so much about you...and you ALWAYS speak your mind, which I love! LOL I think I need to take more tips from you.
#1 If being overweight and healthy is okay...then why do doctors called it "over"weight? Because it's linked to so many health problems directly.
#2 Jealousy can sometimes make people say and do mean things...just keep your head up high...you're 1/4 of the way there, AWESOME!
#3 Joania is one of the most confident people I know. She always has a glow on her face, a smile, and never feels down about "who" she is.
Wow, this just makes me so upset and sad to have read that. I find it funny that this person has such a large opinion on this yet doesn't even want you to post her email. Pretty funny for someone that believes publicly that you shouldn't be promoting this, yet can't publicly speak out...instead wants it hidden. Hmmmmm wierd?
Well Joaners...I just want you to know that We're cheering you on...You gave me the drive to start changing my life...got me in touch with the trainer and now we have the best little miracle growing inside my belly. I love ya girl...you're GOING to do this! Not maybe...I know you're going to get there and be HEALTHY and HAPPY...for you. That little boy of yours is going to love playing in the park with his mommy :)
Keep your head up...this year is YOUR year!
love Tanya & Mike
Period. I didn’t even get to read you whole rant because I was still ranting in my head about what I would say. This is your PERSONL blog and if anyone has a problem with it then they should not read it. PERIOD! I don’t care if your diet was cat food and biscuits...that’s your business.
On another note weight=health IMO you can be healthy and overweight but that is rare and I don’t wanna take that chance. Keep it up. and I am rooting for you to reach your personal goals.
Oh brother! You're doing wonderful work. It's all linked -- the body, mind and spirit. Don't let this get you down. Sunny clearly has her/his own issues.
YOU GO GIRL!!!! I LOOOOOVE your response! Yu hit EVERYTHING on the head!!! WOWZERS he had nerve!
See! you do ROCK! and you're doing the right thing.. this is personal and that person should take a look in the mirror before they go berate soemone with a level head and a mission. you did nothing wrong with your response. They attacked you/ your blog and you attacked their response not them.
Don't take what they said personally... obviously they have issues they haven't been able to deal with yet. Maybe this will help them deal with it.
HUGS and have a great day!
Fran
TEAM JOANIA
Sunny come out come out where ever you are. You started this and now you are scared to show your face? Did you get a chance to do the research on google? We are here to help and inspire, because clearly I think you need help and inspiration and we are happy to assist.Infact this is why my cousin went public not just for her own personal sucess( and I know she will come out of this victorious) but to help inspire others like you.Now the question is, are you man or woman enough to admit on this blog that you need help? Actually you seem to be a private person or maybe a coward, so you can send another personal email for advice, I think Joania may be willing to share the meal plan/workout routine with you- she is just that nice!!!GO OVER THE POSTINGS AGAIN.SEE HOW MANY SHE INSPIRED?
Marvo,NC
Hey Joania,
I’m glad you were able to vent, but I believe that people like Sunny should not be given any attention or light. For all we know, Sunny may be “Projecting” and has decided to spew his or her distain for himself or herself because she or he does not have the balls to do what you are doing.
You always have to be on the lookout for people who make mass generalizations and assumptions. Please don’t let one displaced comment from a disgruntled blogger take you off your focus. Distractions are everywhere and negativity is contagious. You don’t have to explain your reasons for doing anything to anyone.
Sunny is clearly “Gloomy” and he or she is probably loving the fact that she or he was able to get under your skin and get all your supporters thinking about the comment that was made. Please wish him or her success and pray that the bitterness that consumes him or her is unable to affect good hearted, motivated and inspiring people like you!!!!!
No need to be pissed. I feel pity for the fact that despite all the positive milestones you have made this is the only thing that Sunny could comment on. Sounds pretty suspect to me!!!
Keep doing your thing and turn the energy from people’s criticism to motivation to keep moving forward. You are a role model to me who is too poised, intelligent and positive to fall prey to a cowardly commenter who did not even have the balls to present him/her-self to you!! Sunny needs our prayers and his or her comments need to be released and forgotten!
LOTS OF LOVE!!!
Nat
Your body, so your decisions and your reasons for doing what's best. F..K the rest.
Julie
Joania
This has turned into one massive b*tchfest. It's turning me off, and if it's turning me off, it's turning other people off too. Steer this thing back to the positive. Don't you know that anger creates cortisol in your body, and cortisol burns off hard-earned muscle? You lose muscle, you get fatter.
"Get back, JoJo"
Duane
Hey Joania,
I read your blog and all I have to say is WOW!!! R U serious??? I can not believe the ignorance of people today. Sounds like Sunny is quite content on being overweight and is in serious denial. Your reply was well done and all I have to add is...Boooooo Sunny...Booooooo...LOL...The next time Sunny has something to say you tell him/her this...
It's a shame Sunny that your not that quick to jump on a treadmill but certainly quick to jump on a computer...Probably sitting there all day...A lot health that does!!!
I did a little research for you...Feel free to share it with others...LOL
There are 3500 Calories in 1 pound of fat so here is the equation I came up with for both you and Sunny...
1 pound of ignorance = 3500 calories of shame
101 pounds of intelligence = 353,500 calories of determination & will
You go Super J...Don't let people like Sunny get you down/upset Jealousy is an ugly thing!!!
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