Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Struggling and a bit Frustrated, Y'ALL....

First off, let me just say that I have been on point (100%) with my exercising/workouts. I love it. So that part of the journey is not a problem.

HOWEVER, when it comes to EATING and FOOD.....I'm struggling!!!!!!! I knew this journey would be a challenge and I think I've been handling this challenge very well since I've started. Here I sit, in what should be the home stretch, having lost more that half of my goal and I'm struggling with stinking food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew I would have a tough time with the food aspect of this journey, but I was really starting to believe that I had a good handle on it and that I was well on my way to permanently incorporating this new and healthy nutritional lifestyle into my everday routine. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself....I dunno, I just feel like I'm slipping and I want to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand.

Don't get me wrong, I have not totally fallen off the wagon (not even half off the wagon) but I do realize that I am not nearly as diligent as I have been in the past 6-7 months. I've been slipping a "little something sweet" in with my meals every other day. Today for example, I had a piece of carrot cake...loaded with icing!! It was delicious - I didn't and DO NOT feel guilty about eating it, but maybe I should have just had half of what I ate. It was a pretty big slice. I had a glass of red wine the night before and just little nibbles and tastes here and there of things I KNOW that I SHOULD NOT BE EATING! Thankfully I haven't had a major pig-out session...YET!!!

This is what the whole sabbotaging of the progress is all about. I mentioned before that this journey will be as much mental as it is physical, if not more and I'm really started to see that. So this just reminds me that I need to make that extra effort to work out and strengthen those "mental muscles" and not just the physical ones. I have to figure out the reason why I feel the need to eat these foods, especially now. You know, I've heard and read a lot of different theories as it relates to this issue and I've never been able to find anything that "fits" my personal situation. I've just always believed that I JUST LOVE food. I know some people overeat when they're happy, some when they're sad, others when they're angry or frustrated or stressed or even depressed!! To me, I eat when I'm hungry and the problem is that I always seem to be issue is just conditionning my brain to eat the right foods.

The nutritional plan that I am currently following (created by my trainer Rob ) allows me to eat a lot of food throughout the day. In fact, he stresses to me repeatedly, the importance of eating and not skipping meals, or starving myself with crazy dieting, if I want to be successful on this journey. It's just ensuring that I eat the right things -- whole foods--healthy foods. I feel that I've made that connection and I understand what I need to eat to be successful, however I am struggling with sticking with it and I just need to understand why!! This is so frustrating!! I'm in a weird, strange place right now when it comes to my eating. I find myself wanting to rationalize to myself why it would be okay to have that Big Mac Combo with a Supersized Chocolate Shake....I find myself saying things like, "I deserve this, I've been working so hard!!" I have been working hard and that's more reason why I shouldn't go there...I dunno....just a bit frustrated and just really need to figure things out!!

I knew this journey was not going to be filled with ONLY nice smoothly paved roads along the way, I was fully aware that I'd eventually get to the roads that are still under construction or just full of pot holes. I just need to ensure that my vehicle is strong enough and doesn't fall apart going over those bumps and potholes!!! I have had a baby, after 16 hours of natural labour - that was tough!!! I am starting to believe that this journey may indeed be a more difficult task!!

Anyway, I had to get all that off my chest. Thanks for listening. I'm fighting hard to handle this. As always, thanks for your support! Weigh-in on Saturday morning.

Until next time...
Joania (2KMINE!!!)


Crys said...

Sounds really familiar - only you're halfway to goal and I'm halfway, to halfway to goal. :) You make a great point about mental vs. physical. For me it's 90% mental, easily.

In the beginning, I was really fanatical about what I ate and not long into it, I realized I couldn't sustain it. I've relaxed a little (within reason) and this feels better. My weight loss average hasn't changed and this is something I can do forever.

You're right to get a handle on it before it turns into a binge, but don't be too hard on yourself. It's not a sprint, but a test of endurance.

Keep rocking it!

Joy said...

Joania, you are so aware of what you are doing. This has to be a lifelong change.. sustainable. Once the honeymoon phasr of the diet is up, it does get harder to stay as focused. For dome that means that the standards will slip a little. Better to be 80% perfect than give up.

Find your new groove, those numbers will follow.

South Beach Steve said...

I wish I knew what to say to you. I guess the first thing to ask is are you noticing the weight loss changing to a weight gain? If so, it is time to immediately put the breaks on. If you are still losing, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. You are doing exercise and eating well most of the time, so you may be fine. Just pay attention to your body and listen for the signals that you are taking it too far.

My only other word of caution is to realize that sugar will cause cravings and mock hunger, which can lead to more eating, which in turn can lead to more cravings and more mock hunger. Be cautious of this.

Lagana Fitness said...

I was about to email you today and kick your ass after I saw you eat that burger on your last post, and wow now I see that the sweet bug is trying to bite and bite...



You are the Queen of your Castle and if you allow junk into your body, this beautiful castle becomes a muddy sand castle disintegrating into the ground, while the worms eat the cake in mud.


You need to start scheduling times when you should indulge. They should not be random. At this point you should have a cheat meal every 2 weeks. Pick a day and time and go for a 1 hour cheat meal of your choice. Once it's done, load up on water.. Rest/sleep then wake up and have a protein and fiber meal. This will make sure your cravings stop by stabilizing your blood sugar levels.


Great Job on keep the workouts going.. You've this far, don't use self-sabotage to bring in old beliefs that don't exist anymore.

You CREATE in the NOW!!!!


Anonymous said...

I could swear you are my twin! I was having exactly the same thoughts this morning! everyone who tells me that I lost a lot of weight I just tell them how *&^%$ hard it is! I second Rob on "scheduling" a cheat meal...after losing 59lbs, you are allowed some "sweet" in your diet (life), just don't let it get out of hand. I find that when I am straying, I up my exercises, by increasing cardio time and switching lifting to heavier weights and just "sticking "to it (I mean the exercise part). Once the crazy eating stops, I change back to my normal dieting mode.
May I suggest something you should consider: Mother nature at the end of the month is wicked. She might be messing with you right now. I watch closely when she will be back, and exercise and diet around it. It might even be the only reason your are thinking you are overeating and sneaking in sweets. I monitor closely this, I write down when I think she will be back and just get ready for her... YOU CAN DO IT Joania...don't give up.
By the way, I am neck to neck with you and stuck just below 199 on ONEderland.

Lisa said...

You can stick with it! you are doing GREAT!

Anonymous said...

Darling Joania,

I wish you would have talked to me about this on the telephone.

I want you to do me a favour. I want you to go to my blog and look at my first post. I want you to look at my before and after pictures.

You know where I am now. Right back to the beginning. I got there again by having a bit of this and a bit of that.

You my dear woman, are stronger than a piece of carrot cake. You have all the power in the world to say no. I know you can do this. I know I can do this.

Seeing all the hard work you have been doing inspired me to get back at it. It is HARD! But I am stronger than any food out there and so are you.

Kisses and hugs!

Kimmy said...


I've been down your road before. After having lost over 100 lbs, I started eating a bit of this, indulging in that...gaining a pound here, another pound there and now I'm back to where I started from. Not a day goes by where I don't want to kick myself for finding myself back in this position, fighting to get back to my 'goal' weight. Knowing how hard it was to get there in the first place, only to throw it all away by giving into indulgence.

Give yourself a pat on the back for working-out! You are far to hard on yourself.

I third Rob's comments (hi Rob!:>). I would advise you to go back to your first blogs and really do some soul searching. Sabotaging is personal to each and everyone of us. From experience, I know that hitting ONEDERLAND is scary. It's a whole new world out there. Your goal is within your reach; don't sabotage yourself.

Instead dust yourself off, go for a spa day...:>...and re-commit to your journey!

You deserve to reach that goal!

I'm rooting for you!!!!
Thanks for keeping it real!!!

Erin said...

Hey Joania, Just keep your diet simple and your good to go! Good luck!



margaret said...

Rob's comments are so right on point!!!!U are very lucky to have him as a trainer.Gonna have to use some of his tips.Wish he was in Toronto,could use a trainer like him.