Sunday, September 27, 2009

Attacking My Fears

I am afraid of so many things. I always put on a brave face but inside I have a lot of fears, as I believe many of us do... I know that fear is a part of everyone's life and can be good or bad depending on the situation. Fear can help to keep you safe and alive if you need to escape a dangerous situation. Fear can prevent you from doing things that are not safe or endangering your life like robbing a bank or driving with your eyes closed!!

I think that more than anything, fear is a limiting factor in most of our lives. There are so many common fears that keeps us from reaching our goals and achieving our dreams. It is really important for me to determine what my fears are, especially when it comes to achieving the goals that I've set for this journey. I really have to look closely at each of my fears and determine whether or not it's an excuse or some sort of tactic for procrastinating when it comes to getting things done with regards to weight loss. As I've said many times before, I've been overweight all my life and trying to lose weight for the last 20 years. Why has it taken me this long to truly get this done? I know my fears have something to do with it.

I need to take action. Attack those fears. What will really happen if I take martial arts? I used to think that I'd fail and fall flat on my ass (literally). But I've come to realize that the failure comes from not even trying something that I know that I want to do! No more!

One thing this journey is teaching me is that I need to attack my fears head on!!! I have to do this in order to LIVE the life that I want!! Earlier today, I was watching a clip of Will Smith (, one of my favorite 'people that I don't know' (celebrity). He made a statement, "I am motivated by fear" and that statement just stuck with me. I decided to adopt that philosophy. I will be motivated by my fears by attacking them one at a time!! I've always hated feeling scared to do something, but no more!! This is part of the reason I decided to sign up for Jujitsu and Kickboxing. I've always had a fascination with martial arts - you wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I have!!

I've watched so many Kung-Fu movies (it's one of my many guilty pleasures) and I'm sure I've seen every Bruce Lee movie ever made!! I'll challenge anybody to have a Bruce Lee-karate-sound-making contest with me!! LOL!! Whatahhhhhhh!! :)

When I was younger (high school age), I remember seeing the movie, "The Karate Kid" me it was a big deal back then. I wanted so desperately to take Karate classes but was too afraid to do it so I didn't bother. A few years later, "The Next Karate Kid" was released and the lead character was a GIRL, fighting Karate and kicking ass!! I think it was Hilary Swank who starred in it. Anyway, I wanted to take karate again but chickened out once more! Until now, here I am 35 years old and just signed up for martial arts classes!! It's never too late y'all!! But can you imagine where I'd be today if I attacked my fears back then??? Can someone say 10th degree triple black belt and the body of a goddess!!?!?!?!? Oh well, nothing before its time :0)

So my new pact with myself is to face all of my fears one at a time. I will attack the things that scare me and use that fear as motivation to succeed. Didn't some great person say, " there's nothing to fear but fear itself" (who said that? I'll have to google it). Anyway no more!!

I am more than half way to reaching my goal weight and I still have so many fears. Now some of these fears may be irrational but still real. I want to attack all of these to ensure I make it to the end - I want to succeed. Below will be a list of only 5 of the fears I am currently dealing with. There is an old saying that sums up why we have and hold on to our fears, "It’s easier to stay in a known hell than to risk an unknown heaven". Well I think this risk is worth taking!

You will notice that I have a plan of attack for some but not all - feel free to give suggestions. I am afraid of:

  1. I'm afraid of gaining weight - my plan of attack will be to stick to my exercise and healthy diet plan!!
  2. I'm afraid of losing weight - my plan of attack will be to no longer sabbotage my progress/success and get to the bottom of what I'm really afraid of. What is this fear really about?
  3. I'll let myself (and others) down if I regain all of the weight - Plan of attack....?
  4. I'll lose my overweight friends - this one may sound a bit strange and really if I lose them over this then they weren't really friends to begin with...BUT they are really friends and already, after having lost 60 pounds, I'm starting to see and feel a difference with a few of my relationships. I now have new interests which they don't all share and I now avoid some of the activities we used to do because they are no good for me and could be detremental to my success (not healthy). My plan of action will have to be honest and open communication with them and go from there.
  5. Other people's reaction to the "new" me - do I really want to deal with it (resentment, jealousy, maybe even anger) Plan of attack ...?

I don't I nuts to have these thoughts?? Regardless, I know that these are some of the fears holding me back and I plan to attack them however I can, starting now!!

Look forward to your comments...

Until next time...
Joania (2KMINE!!!)


Irene said...

I love your really makes me want to maake one and keep my self in check, fear are real and they can effect all things... and you are not nuts!! Love this post joania...I really do, it spoke a lot to me!!

266 said...

You were the one who embarked on this journey... that in itself proves how brave you are. I suspect that these fears have mostly been with you throughout this weight loss process, so you have been facing them successfully already even if you didn't realize it. I think the best thing you can do for (the others part of) #3 and #5 is work on cementing the concept that you really have zero control over people who are not you. I mean, I know that is obvious, but as human beings we are always oddly willing to take on the burden of the decisions of others. Remember that you can not do anything about how friends, family, strangers, etc. feel about you if you regain your weight, continue creating a 'new' you, or start a side job as a children's party clown. You can only control the decisions that you make... which brings us back to the otehr part of #3 (letting yourself down). Again, you are in control of how you feel about this; if it's not something you ever want to face than use that as motivation to avoid regaining, but also try to give yourself a break. Weight fluctuates for a variety of reasons. While I am confident that you will continue on your downward trend, don't become completely disheartened if you see the numbers starting to climb. No one is perfect. That would just signify the point in this pilgrimage to better health where you need to reassess and make the changes neccessary to keep making progress. You have already conquered so much. Make sure you don't sell yourself short... I honestly think you have much more courage than you are giving yourself credit for!

South Beach Steve said...

Wow Joania, there is a lot to this post. A lot of emotions and heart felt thoughts. I started to comment on several of them, but I felt like I was writing a post myself. :-) I'll just say that I second your thoughts and emotions.

Lagana Fitness said...

Good Morning Joania,


If you go through life, with things and emotions that do nothing but take space in your body/mind/soul, which have no service to you other than create a negative experience, gently face these emotions. Face the root cause, talk to your body, create new vows, and move on. Create the new space needed to become filled with things that serve YOU.

Slade has a nice post that you should read:

Who Might You Become

Be Well,
Rob Lagana

Anonymous said...

You'll never be able to please all the people all of the time. I know it's hard, but honestly, I think a key element here (esp for fears 3, 4 and 5) is that you need to come to terms with the idea that you may indeed lose certain people's support. I'd say you need to accept that the most important person in this equation is Joania! Easier said than done...but in my experience, we often see people's true colours at the pivotal times in our lives. It can be really hurtful, but then you move on and allow positive people to console and encourage you. Don't you only want to be surrounded by people that are happy for you anyway?

Wishing you luck and inner peace as you tackle your fears!

Natasha in TO