I Think I'm in Shock!!!

I just can't believe it. A few people told me this would happen one day, but I usually laughed it off and NEVER believed it possible!!! Not to me!!

I had a very long and busy day today with work, meetings and even a lunch time kickboxing class!! By the time I left work today, it was quarter to six and I had not eaten since about noon!! I was starving!! I had to run some errands this evening as I will be on a 7:00am flight in the morning - yet another business trip!! Anyway, my son was with me and he asked for McDonalds!! Oh no! Not McDonalds. I gave him some reason why he could not have it and that kept him quiet for a bit so we continued on...of course, two minutes later, he was asking again. I literally thought about it for two seconds and said, "SURE!!!" and we were off!!

We walked into the McDonalds, waited our turn in line and I proceeded to order. I was so excited and of course immediately rationalized this move in my mind. I haven't had a "planned"(cheat) meal in weeks. I can do this and not feel guilty!! Well, little did I know, guilt would be the least of my problems. Anyway, I ordered a chicken nugget happy meal for my son (chicken nuggets, apples and milk) and for Mommy..It was combo # 1 - A Big Mac, Medium Fries with an ice tea!!!

My first bite into that BigMac was just heaven!! It was so delicious...yummy!!! The second bite - even better...the third bite - more yummy "mac-i-ness"!! THE FOURTH bite (which is about 3/4's of the burger was..................uh......................WTF???? It just wouldn't go down!! I tried swallowing but just couldn't because I felt it coming back up!! It was disgusting!! What is going on with me??? I litterally paused for a minute in disbelief!! what the crap is wrong with me, I thought. I grabbed my napkins and spit out the burger!! I went to the counter and bought a bottle of water!! I think this was the first time in my 35 year life that I purchased water from McDonalds!! I sat down and drank it in TOTAL disbelief as I stared at the almost-eaten Big Mac!! My son was eating my fries!! I was in shock!!
As far as I could remember, I have never, ever "NOT" been able to eat a Big Mac!! This has to be some sort of fluke!! I ate extremely healthy today and have been all this week...I don't know what it is!! I know this should be a good thing but I truly am in disbelief!! Wednesday Sept 16, 2009 - the day Joania could not eat a Big Mac!!!! Incredible!! For those of you who know me personally, THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!! I'm the one who use to walk around saying that I'd marry Ronald McDonald in a minute just for his food!! LOL!! Now look at me!! Ronald McDonald would be so sad and so ashamed of me!!

Until next time...
Joania (2KMINE!!!)

Have You Tried to Cut Your Own Wood??

Cut Your Own Wood And It Will Warm You Twice!! Henry Ford

That is one of my favourite quotes by Henry Ford. What he meant was that the person who chops their own firewood, not only enjoys the heat from the logs burning in the fireplace, but also gets physically warmed from the exercise involved in their labor.

If you really want to enjoy your workout/exercises and benefits thereof, you should “cut your own wood” by doing things for yourself. For years I looked for the quick fix, the miracle drug, the easy solution. If I could just take a pill and have all the weight just fall off!! Let the "science" of that wonder drug do the work for me and I reap the rewards. Well, I know better. I've realized that I will be "chopping wood" for a long time but the "warmth" I will receive will do me wonders!! It already has.

Two weigh-ins back, when I had my first gain, it really got me thinking. I really need to give this my all and continue "cutting that wood". I can't miss workouts and "hope" that the weight will continue to fall off. I can't sneak in unhealthy foods and drinks here and there, and expect those same results!! I must remember to drink enough water throughout this process. I need to consistently and continuously put in the work to see results. I need to chop my own wood!!

Anyway, I'm just trying to regain focus and keep myself on that right path!! I've been really battling it out in my head lately. I mentioned briefly before of my past history of "self-sabbotaging" when it comes to getting fit, "enjoying" the comforts of being fat. I've lost 50 pounds and somewhere in my head, a little voice is saying, "You've lost 50 lbs!! That's awesome!! One BIG MAC won't hurt!!" But I know that 1 big mac will turn into a meal with supersized fries and a large coke (plus 2 apple pies and possibly 6-pc chicken mcnuggets)!! I can't let myself fall back in that cycle. So right now, it truly is a mental battle for me. A head game, you know?

I think back to what my FB friend, Mark once told me, "If your head is right, your ass will follow!". It is so true. Your head really has to be in the right place. I'm starting to think that the mental journey will be more difficult than the physical one.

My trainer, RobLagana once wrote, "the weakest link to the body is the mind!" I can totally see where he's coming from with that statement, and I believe it's true, HOWEVER, I also believe (and I think he does as well) that the mind CAN BE the strongest link. One just has to train the mind to be strong and efficient and that's what I am currently working on, where this journey is concerned. Right now, I do feel like my mind is not as strong as it needs to be, but I'm doing some "mental strength training" right now to get it where it needs to be for me to succeed and achieve my goals AND I WILL!! I AM WOMAN, afterall and everybody knows we can do anything!! ;)

I am not at all bored with my exercise program, it is extremely challenging even at this point and it frequently and progressively changes. I still can't get through all my reps of certain exercises. So, I can't possibly see myself ever getting bored with my training program. Eating is posing a bit of a challenge and I just can't figure out why. I make different meals all the time, and they're tasty!! Always trying new recipes. So I really just think it's my mind right now!!

To be completely honest, I just sometimes feel like I should take a break. Maybe a week or two of eating whatever I want - BUT I KNOW that's not a good idea. That would just set me so far back (maybe not physically), but mentally!! I've worked so hard the past months to adopt this new lifestyle, I really DO NOT want to throw that away, not even temporarily! I'd feel like I was going backwards - and who wants that feeling?? NOT ME!!

So as it stands, I'm still on track but the view is just a little blurry right now. I just need to regain that focus!! I've been really thinking of training for a 5K this fall (Sep/Oct). It would be to benefit Cancer research - so that would be a different type of reward for me. I would have to start training next month, if I decide to go that way. I think just having a different goal (apart from just losing a certain amount of weight - not that anything is wrong with that) may help me to re-focus!

What do you guys think?? Gosh this journey is hard. It is filled with SO MANY ups and downs and bumps and hurdles. I am determined though!! I will keep chopping that wood!!:)

Anyway, that's it for now...

Until next time...

Joania(2KMINE!!!)

Why now, McDonalds....Why????

Everyone who knows me, know that if Ronald McDonald was real, I'd marry him in a minute...well the old me would ...okay, who am I kidding?? The new and improving me would still marry him well until today!! He betrayed me!! They introduced something new!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I'm driving to work today and drive past a bulletin board. What does it say?

INTRODUCING, THE NEW MAC SNACK WRAP!!!!!

Q. What is it?
A. It's a Big Mac inside a warm flour tortilla!!!

OMG!!!! They've taken my favourite sandwich (the old Big Mac) and gave it a new twist and I can't even try it!!! Can you believe it?? I don't think there's ONE thing on the McDonalds menu that I haven't tasted......UNTIL NOW!!!!! Here's a couple of pix of it:

It's a mini Big Mac without all the bun. You still get the Big Mac special sauce, lettuce, Cheddar cheeses, pickles and onions with a beefy half-patty. There's just no fluffy melt-in-your-mouth, sweet sesame seed bun, just a warm snack-sized flour tortilla.

Here's a close-up:

OHHHH, YUMMMMMM!! Doesn't it look good? I know I could easily make a healthy version of this, but nothing beats that old MickeyDees taste!! Although the old classic Big Mac Meal will always be my favourite, I can't wait to get to my halfway point of this journey so that I could try this new item (and a few other classics)....Why now, McDonalds? Why?

OH GOD!! THE COMMERCIAL JUST CAME ON!!!! This is a conspiracy!!!!!!!!!!

So now what? Instead of singing the classic song, "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun" it will be...... "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions... in a warm flour tortilla."

The song does not really sound right but I'm sure the new Mac Snack Wrap will tast FABULOUS!!! Something to look forward to!!

Anyway, I didn't work out this morning so I'm off to do my cardio!!

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE!!!)

ST. PATTY'S & MY GIRLFRIEND JB....

This individual has been my friend for 20+ years and together, we've done a lot of fun and crazy things which will bring us to tears as we laugh about it, to this day!! It doesn't take much to get us going! I cannot imagine my life without her...anyway, this is not intended to be a sappy post. I can just see her face as she reads this laughing to herself and probably saying, "I can't believe she's writing about me and our craziness in her blog!!" or something to that effect!

Anyway, JB and I absolutely LOVE St. Patrick's Day!!! Well, maybe it's more the festivities that we like because if any one of us were quizzed on the history or origin of St. Patty's - we'd fail miserably!! I'm certain all of our responses would include either "leprechaun" or "green beer"!! It has been our longstanding tradition of just getting together and "doing it up right" on St. Patty's Day. For us, the festivities usually starts very early in the afternoon and goes strong until the wee hours of the morning!!

In the past, this involved the consumption of "a few" beverages, followed by a few more and so on and so on until very early the following morning where we'd ALWAYS end up asking the taxi driver to take us to the 24-hour drive thru McDonalds, where we ordered a massive amount of greasy, fatty food. I'm talking, double Big Macs, Supersize Fries, Coke and Apple Pies!!! I swear, it's the only thing we wanted to eat after a day on the "liquid diet" and it was just AMAZING! Can anyone relate to this, or are we just nuts?? Anyway, that's how we would normally spend St. Patty's Day, in the past!

This Year...

I will be in Edmonton on business on St. Patty's Day!! This year, on St. Patty's Day, I will have just completed my third straight month on this wonderful journey following a highly effective, customized diet and exercise plan which does not include my traditional "St. Patty's Day Food and Beverage Choices"!!!! THIS YEAR, on St. Patty's Day, although I will be in Edmonton, SO WILL MY GIRLFRIEND JB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know if was fate or if it was planned (I WILL never tell!!) but we will BOTH be in Edmonton on St Patty's Day and I think it was meant to be...

Oh, what to do????

First off, my girlfriend in no way wants to sabbotage my journey and has been extremely supportive from the very beginning and even before!! So "what I do" will be totally my decision...we could have a good time either way..Honestly, there is no pressure from her at all!! I just don't want anyone thinking that she's sabbotaging me in anyway!!!

So here are some facts:

1. I have been just amazing on this diet and exercise plan, and for the most part (except those 4 choc eggs recently), I've stayed true.
   
2. I didn't have cake or alcohol on my 35th birthday!!
   
3. I didn't have any chocolate on Valentine's Day!!
   
4. So far this year I've done very well and 3 months is a very long time.
   
5. I have all intentions of remaining on this journey and reaching my goals by Dec 2009!

I've always said that I don't want this new lifestyle to consume me and I also don't want to miss out on my life and things I enjoy doing because of it even though I realize and accept that I do have to make a lot of sacrifices and give up certain things....so I'm in yet another position where I have to make a huge decision regarding either food, chocolate, alcohol or all of the above!!! I also don't want to always have to be in these types of positions. I want to be able to just live and enjoy my life while respecting the boundaries of my program. It's all about finding that balance and learning how to live within it....I think that's a bigger struggle than losing the weight, itself - for me anyway!

So that's it for now....as always, I will be honest in whatever I do; with whatever decision I make regarding St. Patty's Day!! You will be informed...either way!!

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE!!!)