Last Week's Weigh-In...oh oh!!

Starting Weight: 258 lbs (Dec 10/08)
Last Weigh In: 208 lbs (May 16/09)
Current Weight: 210 lbs

This Week's Loss: NO LOSS...+2 lb GAIN!!!!!!!!


Okay first off, I am not upset with this 2 pound gain. I just need to figure out why, not why I gained the weight - just why I always seem to "put it in cruise control" when I'm doing well!!

This is the first time during this journey that I've gained weight and I truly hope it will be the last. I would like to say that these two pounds is from all the muscle I'm building BUT I know that may not be it. Seeing my little "weight loss progress badge" on the right side of the blog, go from '50lbs lost' back to '48lbs lost', really hit me and hopefully was enough to get me back on track!! This gain is from me not being 90% or better (my own goal for myself) with regards to my food and exercise!! And really, that's the secret to success, at least where weight loss is concerned. Eating the right foods and getting the right amount of exercise!! I KNOW THIS!!! Doing it, is what's difficult!!

The Last 3 Days...

While I was in Edmonton, I worked out EVERYDAY and stuck hardcore to my exercise training plan. I was also very good with my eating plan with the exception of having some alcohol and 1 and a 1/2 slices of pizza (small slice). I don't want to make excuses...just want to be straight!!I don't know what's going on with me, but I did not work out on Friday (I travelled that day - but that's no excuse) Saturday (got lazy), or Today (even lazier)!!! Why am I doing this?? Saturday night, I had a peanut butter sandwich on white bread!!!! It was sooo good. I literally said F' it and proceeded to eat it!! Why do I do this??


I can think of nothing that happened to trigger this. Home life is fine, work life is fine (busy, but fine)! I really need to understand why this happens. This journey is not only about me getting healthy and losing the weight, it's also, and most importantly, about me breaking that vicious cycle that has me sabbotaging my progress and regaining whatever weight I had lost!! I am committed to this journey but it seems that I have to kick this up a notch, I feel like I'm slipping and I know that I shouldn't be, because I've been doing so well. Arrrghghhgh...frustrating!!


Being Fat is Sometimes Comforting...

This may seem strange to some, but bieng overweight/obese/fat (whatever you call it) is somewhat comforting. For me, it's easier and I'm willing to bet that quite a few people out there would agree with me on this one! Before embarking on this journey, I would wake up, eat whatever I wanted for breakfast (if I ate at all) and go about my day, stopping periodically to "snack" on whatever I wanted. At work, I could go to the cafeteria downstairs and ordered whatever I wanted for lunch, most of the times not even thinking about what I ordered (usually way too much food - poutine, coca cola, something cheesy and rich with that insta mix gravy).

I would walk through the mall, go straight to the food court and had my fill of unhealthy choices. I wrote before of my love of Cinnabuns! I could order out whenever I wanted to and whatever I wanted to at pretty much anytime of day or night. That was the worst of them all, because after ordering my food from the telephone or internet, I would plop down on the couch, in front of the television as I ate.

As for clothes, I would make an effort for work, but at home it was usually some oversized T's and a comfy (there's that word again) pair of track or jogging pants, that just stretched with me - so the more weight I gained, the more my pants stretched. This is one of the reasons I felt so amazing when I fit into those size 16 non-stretch jeans!!

I hated walking (still not my fav, but I do it more often now)! I rarely moved but to get to and from places like the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom etc. I barely said the word "exercise" much less DID any!!

My lifestyle now is wonderful, I love how great I feel after dong 30 pushups or after strength training for an hour. When I first jogged for 1 full minute on the treadmill without stopping, I felt like I just ran and finished a marathon - I was so proud. When I run up my flight of stairs at home and it doesn't phase me one bit, I feel awesome!! I'm running around with my son and HE'S getting tired before me...this is why I'm doing this. I love these feelings of pride, confidence (not that I wasn't confident before - just more so now) and energy!

When I travel on business and eat out at amazing restaurants for EVERY MEAL and stay on track, effortlessy making healthy choices, I feel such pride.

So why the hell am I not staying on track?? Why am I doing this??

Well, I'll tell you right now, as of 5am tomorrow morning, I WILL BE BACK ON TRACK!!!! I don't think I've done any kind of damage that can't be repaired!!! This is just a minor bump in the road and I WILL get through it! I love how strong and proud I feel when I'm on track! The positive energy that surrounds me is just amazing!!

So, that's it for now. I slipped up, messed up a bit, BUT WILL BE BACK ON TRACK and moving forward as of this moment.

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE)

I'm BACK and I WAS BAD!!!

Hi everyone,


Another successful business trip done and over with (until the next one). I'm so glad to be home, very tired and thankfully the weather here is just beautiful (25 degrees celcius)!! I plan to sit in my back yard and veg today!! May go for a walk later this evening!

I tried so very hard to stay on track...didn't miss a workout...it's not too difficult when the hotels afford you top of the line fitness facilities, so that part was no problem....HOWEVER, those hotels and nearby RESTAURANTS also afford you top of the line FOODS!!! That's the problem!!!! My first two days, I did very well, stayed on track for MOST of the time, but I STRAYED a bit.

I don't know what it was, but this time I just found it so difficult to stay totally true to the diet....as I mentionned, I killed the workouts, but the diet got me!! As I said at the very beginning of this blog, I WILL BE HONEST and not only with successes but "slip-ups" as well. I do not consider this a failure and I've already put it behind me and after I finish this post, I will take it out of my mind altogether. So here comes the honesty - with pictures!!

Anyway, my flight was at 2:00pm that day. I woke up, did my exercises, had breakfast (3 scrambled egg whites with green peppers & onions), dropped my son off to daycare with and extra long hug and kiss, and went off to work. Left work for airport. I had a chicken wrap for lunch (which I grabbed at a restaurant at the airport)....wasn't good with my snacks. By the time I got checked into hotel, I was starving!! Here's a pic of my dinner on night 1.

This is steamed veggies (spinach, green and yellow beans, red peppers, olive oil, garlic) served with a fish called, "cobia". Never heard of this fish before but it was delicious - white, meaty and quite flavourful. I also had a glass of H2O with this meal. It was great ..restaurant was Canyon Creek! Sorry picture quality not so great...I didn't use flash - pretty good for my phone's camera, though.

The next morning we (my colleagues and I) had breakfast at the hotel restaurant and then checked out as we were off to a different city for more meetings. The breakfast was buffet style and offered lots of healthy options. I had just worked out and was very hungry!

A hard-boiled egg and a slice of cheese -which I wrapped up and put in my purse to eat as my morning snack a few hours later.

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, two small turkey sausages, small bowl of fruit (did not eat grapes - extra sour) and a glass of water. Then went off to my conference meeting.

Lunch was provided so choice was limited however, I believe I made the best of it by having the following:

This is a garden salad, sprinkled with feta cheese (just a little, as you can see) with 1/2 of a whole wheat tortilla wrap (thinly sliced oven-roasted turkey breast, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese) and about a litre of water.

After conference, we drove to our next destination and checked into our hotel, got settled and went out for dinner. We found this great restaurant where I had a steak with a salad and some baked sweet potato fries (sorry didn't get a pic) but it was goooooood!! Sometimes, I feel a little funny taking pix of my food depending on where I am and how packed the place is. Anyway, this is where the problems started. I shared some fried calamari with my colleagues...they were delicious!! I also had DESSERT!!!! There were three of us and we shared two desserts!! I know I should have been stronger but just reading the options on the menu made me want it so bad!! I just couldn't resist - well, I probably could resist but I didn't!! AND OMG, was it ever yummy!!! They were delicious - I did manage to get a pic of that (the restaurant had emptied at that time)....

This is one of them - no words can do this justice so I'll just let you look at it. All I need to say is CHOCOLATE!!

Here's the other dessert......

Cheesecake with Chocolate

As I mentionned earlier, these beauties were "shared".....I'm certain I had the most of my colleagues.....here's a pic, showing that we did share them - please take note of the THREE forks!

SIN-sharing!!

EVIL!!(but tasty)...

The next morning I woke up, feeling guilty but not as guilty as I thought I would and I don't know if that's good or bad but I decided to forget about it and get my workout done....and I did. Met with my colleagues and we went off to the Market Fresh for breakfast. I had an eggwhite and vegetable omlet with water. I was back on track!! :)

It was quite good (green pepp, mushrooms, onions)

Anyway, I am now back on track with my eating but I know that my "slip-ups" may have affected my weigh-in. I've just weighed in this morning as I wasn't able to on Wednesday. My next post will show the results of my sins! Stay tuned..

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE!!!)