What Women Want....

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy this week is over....I "almost" fell off the wagon a bit with that whole "Easter Bunny/chocolate eggs" fiasco. No big deal, as my trainer put it, "it did more to your head than your body so forget about it, it never happened!" and I like Patricia's comment that it's "FOUR-givable" :) **smiles** When I started this journey, I knew there would be bumps in the road and I'm thankful for all the support I have from you guys to help get me through - but no worries, I'm back on track!!

Anyway, I had a conversation with a few of my female friends at work today and found it so enlightening and rather fascinating. I told them I would write about it - not sure they believed me, but I'm a woman of my word!!

Somehow, we got on to the topic of weight and what we like/dislike about our physical appearances etc... One of my friends - and in the name of anonymity, let's call her "Coco". First off, let me describe her. Coco is stunning!! Tall, lean, beautiful, confident, amazing features, fashionable, a body most women would cut off a limb for and on top of that, she's smart, has an incredible sense of humour and just an all around nice person. Well guess what? She doesn't like her stomach - her incredibly flat (to me) stomach!When you could lift up your shirt and see ONE smooth surface instead of 2 or 3 bumps...you don't have a problem (lol- just bugging you Coco). She wants to lose a few pounds. I told her I wanted to smack her, she's hot so shut up!! (I love her, really I do).

However, the more I spoke to her and listened to her rationale, the more I could relate with what she was saying and realized that who the heck am I to tell her that she doesn't need to...if she wants to improve herself and do something that will make her feel better, then she should and I should encourage her. Even though I think she's fine the way she is, I realized this whole weight/image thing is all individual and as long as it's not something unhealthy, then cool. I'm sure some people think I'm nuts for embarking on MY journey. So thanks Coco.

My other friend who we'll call, "Paris" (heehee), I think she is equally beautiful. She has a great body, fashionable, friendly, confident, extremely talented, (I told you she was funny)! Of course we laughed but she was serious...now, I don't think she'll go to drastic measures for the sake of boobs but my point with sharing all this is that I found myself amongst what I considered 4 very beautiful women, but we all had an issue or issues with how we looked in some way or another and it got me thinking!! The other two didn't share there "flaws" (if you can even call it that) but they were nodding and in obvious agreement with what was being discussed. One of them - let's call her, "Lola" agreed with me that Coco is hot and does NOT need to lose weight. But I've had discussions with that Lola before, similar to this one, and I know she has some stuff that she doesn't like either. She is also a very beautiful, confident and smart woman - friendly and nice. I just don't get it!! I guess I'll never really know what we women want.

I guess we all have little things about ourselves that we'd like to change and that's okay as long as it's not taken overboard or too far. This got me thinking that even though my main reasons for starting this journey was to get healthy, I still do like the physical changes that I'm seeing. I mean, I liked how I looked before and I am now finding that I am liking how I'm looking even more!!! What will I think when I look at myself in 6/7 months from now, after losing more weight?? Will I be satisfied with what I see OR will I be saisfied enough with FEELING great and BEING healthy? Will I start picking at little things and wanting to change them - I certainly hope not.

I'm am learning so much on this journey and not just how to do a proper push-up and eat well balanced meals. I am learning that this journey is as much mental and spiritual as it is physical. My goal is to strive for that balance between the three: mental, spiritual and physical. Someone once told me in an email, "if you get your head right, your ass will follow!" and that always stuck in my mind. For me it will be, "if I get my HEAD and SPIRIT/HEART right, my ass will follow!!" I am striving for that balance.

Anyway, that's it...what are your comments on what we women want and why it's so hard to be satisfied..I don't know... am I being hypocritical even talking about this when I myself am not currently satisfied with how I am?? I know for me, physical appearance is very low on the list of "why I'm doing this" but it IS ON THE LIST. Would love to hear what you guys think....

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE!!!)

Somebody Really Pissed Me Off Today!!!!!!!!!

I apologize in advance for this lenghty rant but I really felt it was necessary and I would really appreciate your comments on this one. Thanks. If I'm wrong, please let me know!

So I got an email today and to be honest, it really just pissed me off...I know of no other way to put it. It just pissed me off!! The sender did not want to be identified and sent this message to my personal inbox(which I don't have a problem with)..I will respect that individual's wishes and not identify him/her. I did let that person know that I would be writing about this in my blog, and I did make my feelings of "pissiness" (is that a word?) clear in my response. I asked the individual if they'd object to me posting their email anonymously so that all could see - he/she (lets name this person "Sunny") did not want that. I don't mind if people don't agree with what I'm doing/saying/writing and want to voice that - I'm fine with it. I do moderate all comments, however so far I've allowed 100% of the comments posted to this blog. The only time I won't allow it is if it's degrading, derrogatory or malicious and would offend others. I will also respond to it directly, especially if it's warranted as I did in this case.

Anyway, "Sunny" started off by complimenting me on my efforts in embarking on this journey and then went into the longest "HOWEVER" I think I've ever seen. I won't copy and paste the entire message, but will summarize one of Sunny's key points from that message - this is the one that really pissed me off. Okay, I said I wouldn't copy and paste the entire message but the quote below is a direct quote which I copied and pasted...I was attempting to summarize it but felt I would change the meaning if it wasn't left exactly as said...Sunny is not identified so I don't see the big deal. Message to Sunny : if you have a problem with this, please feel free to email me - we can discuss further.

Quote taken from email message:
"I think you're wrong to associate weight with health. Being fat doesn't mean that you are not healthy and I just don't think you should be promoting publically that you are attempting to conform to someone else's beauty standard despite being healthy. You wanting to lose 101 pounds seems a bit out there and I think it sends the wrong message"

My Disclaimer: I've already admitted that this message pissed me off ( a lot!) and this response will be very honest and straight to the point - I always speak my mind, and it will be no different here!!

I must admit, I did not know where exactly to start in responding to this - I just had so many things to say; some harsh and some not. But here goes:

I want to assure you that I have never conformed to someone else's beauty standard and take great offense at the thought of anyone thinking that this was my reason for embarking on this journey. Frankly, if you read my blog or knew me, you would see how ridiculous a statement that was!! I've said it before (a few times in the blog actually) and I'll say it again. I have never ever looked at myself negatively. I am one of the most positive and confident people you could ever come across - I owe that to my mom who pretty well told me every day how beautiful I was...and I AM beautiful, matter of fact, I'm fine as hell!!! My reasons for doing this are so far from esthetic, you may not believe it. MY REASONS!! MY REASONS!! No one else's. If someone looks in the mirror and decides they want to embark on a similar journey because they want to LOOK better or they don't like the way THEY currently LOOK and want to improve on that, and most importantly are taking healthy steps (doing it the right way) to achieve those goals, then who are you or anyone for that matter to look down or speak negatively to that individual??? What's wrong with trying to improve yourself for YOURSELF?? Nothing!! Not a damn thing. What's wrong with trying to improve your health?

Also, I do want to improve how I look. I no longer want to see rolls of fat when I wear my clothes!!! I no longer want to wear spanx and gurdles to have the appearance of a flat stomach!! I want to cross my legs when I sit and be comfortable instead of having to sit to one side to do it!! I no longer want to feel "things" shaking AFTER I've stopped laughing!! That's my damn business!! :)

Don't get me wrong, I am quite aware of what's going on in this world with serious circumstances and situations having to do with anorexia and or bulimia and other eating and image disorders and the significant impact it's having on numerous women (young and old). Rest assured, this is not the case here and no where in my blog am I "publically promoting" this. Get your facts straight before you start with your nonsense!

This is MY PERSONAL JOURNEY TO LOSE WEIGHT AND GET HEALTHY!!! I didn't associate weight with health. I associated MY WEIGHT with MY HEALTH. You went on to say that there are lots of fat people out there who are healthy and that I was wrong to associate health and weight. I say good for them...my issue is that THIS FAT PERSON WAS NOT HEALTHY!!! I can only speak for myself. I cannot be healthy and fat, for me that's bullcrap (I wanted to use a different word here, but that one will have to do). At my fattest, why the hell could I barely walk up my stairs at home without feeling like I was dying for air??? I doubt it's because I was so healthy! Why could I only play with my son in the park for a few short minutes before needing to rest/catch my breath????? Because I was fat and healthy?? Give me a break! I have health issues that are directly related to my weight and since losing just 25 pounds, my doctor and I have started noticing huge improvements with some of those health issues.

I've already personally had my battle with cancer!! My mother died of cancer at the age of 37!!! She was overweight. I'm not saying she got cancer because she was overweight, but what I am saying is that I am directly at risk, it's in my gene pool. Why would I not do any and everything I could to ensure that I was as healthy as possible? Wouldn't I be in a better situation to FIGHT and kick the crap out of cancer if I was as healthy as possible if it decides to come back my way??!! I currently have fibroids which are related to being overweight and thankfully are non-cancerous. Those growths have started to reduce in size since I started losing weight!! You need to just back your shit up....cause where my story is concerned, you don't have a clue!

I think what I am "publicly promoting" is how a regular person with all of life's ups and downs and ins and outs can achieve a weightloss goal by using proper exercise and healthy meal plans and maintain a healthy lifestyle. THAT's ALL I'M PROMOTING!!! So if you see something else, I just don't know where you're getting it! How is me attempting to show people how to get healthy following the right tools sending the wrong message??? What would you say if I was telling people to starve themselves and don't exercise, take pills etc to lose weight? Get real!!

This is one of things that bugs me about people. I understand that everyone has their opinions and that's fine, but don't start making ridiculous statements without having the facts or knowing the full story!!

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest (and there was more, but I responded to Sunny directly). I am on my lifelong journey and more motivated and determined than ever to reach my goals which includes LOSING WEIGHT, GETTING HEALTHY, MAINTAINING THAT HEALTHY LIFESTYLE and FINDING THAT ALL IMPORTANT MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL BALANCE!!

Sorry for the rant today guys. As always, thanks for your support. I'll look forward to your comments!

Until next time...

Joania (2KMINE!!)